Coaching in the Key of C - with Consistency, Compassion, and Consent

Hey everybody, are you having a great day?

Yes!

Oh no, you're not?

It's okay, I got you.

I'm Tif Loeffler.

Welcome to Positively Yours.

I'm going to share Tif's tips, techniques, and a little bit of magic

to help you up-level and have a great day every day.

Are you ready to get started?

Yeah!

Oh, you're not?

That's okay, I still got you.

Let's go.

Why?

Have you ever had a little kid ask you that?

Why?

And then you give them the answer.

But why?

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why is an excellent question.

Why would I care if I need to have a good day?

I'm a professional.

I'm very busy.

I just need to get through this day.

Oh, let me tell you, there are very big, deep, awesome reasons

why you need to care about why it's important to have a good day.

And I'm going to give you the number one reason.

Really, the only reason.

You woke up this morning.

There you go.

Out of all of the things that could have happened in the world, you made it.

You got there.

You opened your eyes, and it is a brand new day.

And now, you have the choice and the power to make decisions to have a great day.

Now, I know that's easier said than done.

Or is it?

There's a question.

Why does it always have to be difficult?

I love hyperbole in that once I say hyperbole, never, always, every single time.

Absolutely no time.

It's okay.

Would we have a good day?

Okay, that's okay.

When we have an okay day, that's good.

I'm talking about a great day.

I am talking about a day that just sings.

And on that note, we are going to start with my tips and techniques for having a great day.

Now, I am going to talk about this today for a little bit through the lens of business.

It's important for you to have a great day when you are working in your business.

You need to be working on your business, in your business.

Sure, around your business, but you have to be in business.

So, let's get to it.

And the first tip, there's going to be three.

I'm actually going to start with just an idea to get you to, if you want to close your eyes unless you're driving, please don't.

But just imagine there is a gate with a lock.

And if you could just get to the other side of that, things are happening, okay?

It's flowing.

You're in the zone.

You've got this.

But you need the key.

Guess what?

I got some surprising or maybe not surprising news for you.

The key is already in the lock.

You just have to turn it.

But once in a while, that key is a little difficult to turn.

I know how this is.

That's why I got you.

That's why we're going to start with, well, I have three keys in the key of C.

Today, we are going to first talk about our first key, which is consistency.

And that can be the bait of existence for many of us who, I don't even know how to say it, ADHD, neurodivergent.

We just like to be busy.

We're artistic.

We like to have spontaneity.

We like our freedom.

And we think, oh, scheduling, regular, day after day, that's just going to get me down.

You don't understand, Tiff.

I need my freedom.

I understand absolutely because how many days have I thought, no, I need my freedom.

I don't want to be tied down to something.

Well, that is different than the key of C.

For key equaling C for consistency.

We need to be consistent because we need to gather data.

Now, data doesn't have to be just facts and figures.

We're gathering data with adventures and experiences.

So for those of us in the right brain, I'm just trying to make sure that I hold both of our brains in the palms of my hands.

There's the left brain, which is very logical.

I've got to have facts, figures, numbers.

I need it.

I know you right now.

And the right brain is like, yeah, but I just want to be creative and I want to flow with things.

You can do that with consistency.

So if there is one top tip that I have for you to have a great day is for you to consistently schedule a great day.

Now, if you need help with that, well, maybe we could work together.

I would love to help you with that because I love helping people have a great day.

And consistency means different things to different people.

But I'll touch on just a couple of ideas to get you started.

When you wake up in the morning, it is nice to have a daily routine.

If you want to adjust the routine, you can do that.

If you want a different routine weekdays and weekends, I get that.

Maybe on Monday you need a little extra.

But I'm going to give a concrete example of how to have a great day by having a daily routine.

But I want to offer a caveat.

If once in a while life happens and you're not able to do that particular routine in a particular way, it's OK.

It really is.

I'm talking about creating a beautiful system of when you wake up in the morning, you start the day with something that sets the tone.

And for me, this summer, the summer of 2026, it is a daily walk with my youngest brother, Theron.

And I absolutely love it.

It's just we're out in nature.

We're talking.

Sure, we're together all the time.

But have you noticed you could be together with someone, but you don't communicate?

Now, that could be a C for another day.

But we're talking about consistency.

Every day we get up.

And here's what's wonderful.

Because I have this beautiful routine with someone that I love and care about, it makes it so much easier.

Not easy because I still have to get up, put on my shoes, put on my outfit.

Maybe it's too hot.

I might need a sunbrella because I'm a little sun sensitive.

Maybe I need an umbrella because, oh, it's raining.

I'm going to make sure I have the right shoes on.

There's just so many other things.

But I'm just giving you the example that when you have consistency in your day, it actually has some added benefits.

And I'll try to offer you a couple of reasons why.

We have a nervous system.

And when our nervous system gets cray-cray, it's really challenging to get through the day, much less have a great day.

And I am not an expert at the regulation of the nervous system.

But I can tell you a few things.

If you are continually living in a stressful state, it is not helpful for having a great day.

It's not good for your body.

It's not good for your mind.

It's not good for your heart.

And now I feel like I just really want to lean in and say, you deserve to have a great day that you're feeling in your body.

So I highly recommend for something consistent, you involve movement in your day.

Make sure once in a while you get up out of your chair.

If you're sitting down a lot, stretch.

We weren't made to be, just get up and walk around for a minute.

I'm a little tethered right now, so I can't do that.

But I hope you get, you can just do what you need to do for a minute.

Get up, walk around, maybe a couple of jumping jacks.

Ooh, try a push-up.

Why not?

It's your day.

So consistency.

Now, that's about physical movement in the morning.

I would also say it is very nice to have perhaps every, we could say weekday, but every day.

If you're in business, you understand this sometimes feels like 24-7.

You have a 15-minute window at the beginning and make sure, for example, I have a little timer here.

Can you just time yourself?

Also your phone.

I keep saying this and I love it because it's true.

This could be your greatest distraction or this could be your greatest asset for your business by setting timers.

15 minutes housekeeping, however that looks to you.

It's so essential to have special time put aside, but a specific amount of time.

I don't want you opening up your email and then two hours later, oh my gosh, what happened?

That's almost as bad as doom scrolling on your favorite social media for two hours.

Your time is precious.

You need to start treating yourself like the valuable person that you are.

So be consistent in how you structure your day.

And I love that I have gotten so many wonderful examples of how to structure my day.

And you know what?

Some of it is just a chunk of time saying this is tiff time.

Now I have a list of different things that I can do within that tiff time.

I have that time.

That's for me.

However you structure your day, please know that it's precious and you must guard it through your life.

Now I changed it.

I don't want it to be with your life.

Guard it with your life.

That just sounds so but guard it through your life.

Use your daily living as an example to yourself and others that you value your time.

I am being consistent with what I'm doing and consistency is what builds results.

It's wonderful when there's a fantastic spontaneous moment you're in.

I get that.

We all love that.

That moment or that event or that person.

Yes, it happens and we love it.

And also you have to be consistent.

And since I've talked about the beginning of the day, I would like to talk about the end of the day.

At the end of the day, isn't it interesting how you could plant the seed to have a great day the night before?

It can be as easy as just as you're going to sleep just saying, you know what?

Whatever today was is awesome.

I'm letting go of it all and I'm gonna wake up in the morning.

I'm gonna have a great day.

There you go.

Maybe you need to journal.

Maybe you need to talk to someone.

But planning for a great day the day before is wonderful.

And also some self-care.

I'm going to offer a self-care tip right now to make sure that you have water handy.

Because water is essential and I need a sip of water right now.

And if you consistently have a glass of water by you, then it's easier to take a sip of water and stay hydrated.

Now also, you need sleep.

I'm here to tell you.

We can all pretend.

It's a great story to say, I don't need any sleep.

I'm so into what I'm doing.

Or I've never gotten sleep before.

It's never going to happen.

Oops, we just went into hyperbole.

So why don't we just relax a little.

Give ourselves some self-care time at the end of the day.

To prepare for the next day.

To wind down.

To relax.

This is leading me into the second key of C.

Compassion.

Now I can talk about that in two worlds.

The world of outside your head and inside your head.

Let's start with the inside.

I want you to know.

That you are amazing.

Magnificent.

Tremendous.

And we don't give ourselves enough credit.

You might know of people who don't give themselves any credit.

And it's hard.

Because you look at them and you think, oh my gosh, you are so amazing.

I can't believe that either you're treating yourself this way.

You're letting other people treat you this way.

You're living a life that you don't love.

You're living a life that is harmful for you.

Why are you, you know, the compassion.

We sometimes can offer compassion to others.

And I love that.

And you know what?

I've heard people say, well, you can't offer compassion to others.

Unless you offer compassion to yourself.

Or, you know, you can't love others until you love yourself.

Yes and also.

What if.

It was more circular.

That start with loving yourself.

But then, yes, you also love other people.

But what if in loving other people in the compassion.

I'll get back to compassion.

Really understanding that people are going through things.

They are truly fighting battles that you don't know.

And.

They're also celebrating things you don't know.

And until you are able to see through the lens of compassion.

What people are going through in their daily lives.

It can be difficult to have compassion for ourselves.

But they both ring true.

At the same time.

Two things can be true at the same time.

Yes, you want to have compassion for other people.

When you are working in business with people.

It's not to let them walk over you.

It's not to be bullied.

We're going to be talking about that in our next KFC.

The final one.

Right now, I want you to think about.

A little kid.

Again, that little kid.

And they made a mistake.

And they feel so bad.

And which.

Part of this.

Do you think would be more effective saying to them?

You screwed up again.

God, what is wrong with you?

I can't believe this.

I told you everything.

It's just.

Or saying.

You know what?

That's okay.

I know you tried.

It's so frustrating, isn't it?

But I tell you what.

Why don't you just.

Just take a moment.

Just shake it out.

Oh, you're crying.

It's okay.

Just cry.

I got it.

I know.

Take a moment.

Okay.

Okay.

Do you want?

Do you want some help trying it again?

Or do you just want to try it again on your own?

So.

Why is it that?

I feel pretty obvious.

It's pretty obvious to me.

The latter one.

Is the one you'd want to say to a little kid.

Why don't we say that to ourselves?

Why is it when I am trying so desperately to learn a new piece of technology.

And I can't do it.

And then I'm so freaking upset with myself.

And here comes that spin of.

Complete non-compassion.

Let's just put it that way.

You're a jerk.

You're an idiot.

I can't believe this.

You're never going to get.

Okay.

Right to hyperbole.

So maybe that could be a fun game.

Because I do love games.

And playing.

And what if the game was.

Every time you caught yourself in hyperbole.

You laugh.

You go.

Okay.

I'm never going to get this.

Oh.

I just got myself.

I just went to hyperbole town.

I don't want to go to hyperbole town.

I'll have to think of whatever village.

I want to go to.

That is marvelous.

And I'll think of a word.

And maybe I'll.

Create that.

Today.

Okay.

But for now.

No.

You don't want to go to hyperbole town.

It's bad.

It's bad.

What's really good.

Is when.

You develop.

And grow.

And nurture.

Your compassion.

Because.

Compassion.

Is strength.

I love the phrase.

Do not mistake.

My kindness.

For weakness.

Compassion.

Is a most.

Excellent thing.

We need to have more compassion.

In the world.

And again.

That doesn't mean.

That you let people.

Run your ragged.

Drain your energy.

Take advantage.

No.

No.

No.

Compassion means.

You understand.

Deeply.

That we're all going through.

Our lives.

As best we can.

And at any given moment.

There's going to be that.

Incredible serendipity.

Where you are.

With a client.

Or customer.

And you know.

You have exactly.

What they need.

And you are able to.

Compassionately.

Explain it.

Offer it.

And accept their decision.

Either way.

Which brings me.

To the third.

Key of C.

For today.

And that is.

Consent.

Now.

I bring this up.

Because this was recently.

Brought to my attention.

The word consent.

And.

It's not that.

I didn't know about.

Consent before.

It's just.

That word.

I finally understand.

Through the lens of business.

Why it is essential.

To.

Have consent.

As.

A thought in.

The forefront of.

How we.

Talk to people.

Because.

We need to offer.

Respect for ourselves.

We also need to offer.

Respect for other people.

We know we've got.

Great goods and services.

And when the fit is.

When we feel the fit is right.

And we've gotten the information.

And we truly feel we can help them.

Not from a place of.

Ooh, I'm going to get this client.

And get this money.

Yes.

Money's important.

A topic for another day.

Now I'm talking about the fact that.

You know.

That this is a right fit.

If it's a wrong fit.

You're just not going to make the offer.

Okay.

I get it.

But you're making an offer.

And you.

Have to understand.

And I will say it this deeply.

You have to understand.

That if people say no.

There is a reason.

And if they say yes.

There's also a reason.

That's great.

But.

I could very easily.

Turn this into a three hour podcast.

Just talking about.

How disgusting it is.

About the lack of consent.

Especially when it comes to relationships.

And how people take.

No, isn't really a no.

It could just be a yes.

And I'll just keep pushing.

And pushing and pushing.

Or maybe I'll just assault.

Yep.

I said it.

Nope.

I would.

I would offer us to understand.

That we need to honor.

People's decisions.

And I am going to talk about it.

For a few minutes.

Through the lens of business.

Let's say that someone says no.

It is perfectly.

All right for you.

I feel.

To inquire.

Oh.

May I ask why.

Now.

I didn't prepare.

This part of the podcast.

Perfectly.

I'm riffing a little bit.

So I'm going to go.

With the idea of.

Well, there was.

Once upon a time.

Where someone was offering me.

Something that sounded.

Really, really good.

And.

The answer was no.

It truly was a no.

For all the reasons.

But they just didn't take no.

For an answer.

And I.

In a moment of.

Incredible doubt.

And.

Fear.

Accepted their offer.

When I had no right to do so.

And I will tell you.

That was.

It's hard not to regret things.

So maybe I'm going to pause for a moment and say.

Have you ever had someone.

Push into something you didn't want or bully you.

Or.

Offer.

Practical punishment.

If you didn't.

Or say your life's going to be over.

Well, I got news for everybody.

I survived before your offer.

I'm surviving in this moment.

And I'll survive tomorrow.

But that's easier said than done in the moment.

Depending on if someone.

Has curated their communicative skills.

They know exactly how to push the buttons.

And it's all.

It's okay.

We all have our skills.

And actually, I think it's very good to be very clear.

And.

Very professional about how you're making an offer.

But.

And here's the but.

If someone says no, it's okay to offer.

May I ask why?

And they might say.

You know, time.

Money.

Family.

Whatever it is.

That could be the reason.

It could not be the reason.

But in order to have an incredible business relationship.

Whether you're.

Checking out at.

A drugstore counter.

Or you're at the mall.

And you're at a department store.

Or.

You're online purchasing.

Something that you saw that.

Oh, you've just been waiting for anything.

It's really cool.

And you're not even communicating with someone.

But they've.

Put it out there.

You're click here to buy this.

And.

If you're sitting one-on-one with someone.

Either virtually.

Or in person.

You know what?

We have the right to.

Make our own decisions for ourselves.

And.

Therefore.

We understand.

That consent is essential.

Both parties have to agree.

And I bring that to.

Our conversation today as a way to close up.

The three.

Keys of C for today.

Because I think that.

When you.

Let people know that.

You know what?

Whatever is best for you.

Is best for both of us.

Because ultimately.

If we're going to be working together.

It's got to be the right fit.

It's got to be a best fit.

It doesn't mean best fit 24-7.

In the energy that we're having right now.

If this is the best fit.

Let's go for it.

But you know what?

If it's not.

I understand.

And on a final note.

This goes back to compassion.

If someone says they're not ready right now.

Maybe your feelings are hurt.

Maybe you have worked on this deal.

A long time.

And it falls through.

I just offer you.

A little backwards here.

So the consent.

Have compassion for them.

And for yourself.

Because you don't know.

What they're going through right now.

That that's the decision right now.

And also consistency.

The more that you meet with people.

And understand.

All of these three keys.

The easier.

The flow is.

In your having a great day.

In business.

And so.

I really like to end.

On a high note.

There we are.

So three keys.

That are in the key of C.

That are going to help you.

In your business.

Have.

A great day.