Interview with Carolyn Cooper: Stop Performing and Embrace Your Authentic Self

If you're tired of hiding your brilliance behind stage fright, scripts, or playing it safe,

then you are in the perfect place. This is the Inspired Speaker Podcast, and I am your host,

Danielle Benzon, professional rebel, voice coach, and your guide to speaking with confidence,

charisma, and zero BS. Around here, we don't chase perfection. We choose connection.

So grab a hot beverage, warm up those vocal cords, and get ready to fall wildly in love

with the sound of your voice. Let's get inspired. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to the very

first episode of this series. It's an interview series, and I'm so absolutely honored. I have my

wonderful friend, Carolyn, with me today, and it's just so perfect that she is my first guest

because I've been on her podcast, the Love Inspired Leadership Podcast,

and we have been friends for many, many, many years, and we are so in alignment. This is the

best conversation. It's going to be the best conversation. So I'm going to read you Carolyn's

bio. Carolyn Cooper is a guide for accomplished women whose outer success no longer matches their

inner truth. Through her aim high method, the truth alignment and radiance, she helps them

release self-abandonment, regulate their leadership energy, and build lives and businesses

aligned with their authentic identity. So their impact expands without costing them their soul.

So you can see why she is the perfect person to be here today. Thank you so much for being here,

Carolyn. I'm so stoked you're here. Oh my goodness, oh my goodness. And you know,

I just set the intention right now that every single human being that is listening to this

or watching this podcast interview, that you receive precisely at this moment exactly what

it is that you need in your life and your business to soar, to aim higher in this year, in this

decade of your business, and to receive all the abundance and whatever that looks like,

whether it means financial, strategically abundant, and those alliances or friendships

like Danielle and I have. Like ours. Beautiful. And you know, we're not meant to do this alone.

And that's the piece that I want to just plant in the very, very beginning. It's through these

type of podcasts that we get to learn new ideas, new concepts, new insights, new integrative

strategies that we can implement into our life and business. So we can be in our lane of joy.

So we can be that love inspired leader that we yearn to be. I love, I love that lane of joy.

I mean, your business is even it's the, well, you have inspired in your business name as well. I

mean, you're doing the aim high right now, but inspired. So my business is called the

Inspired Connection. Yeah. So you're the Inspired Connection. I'm the Inspired Speaker.

Speakers connect. It's just this beautiful, this beautiful, joyful, yummy thing. We've been

friends forever. And I just love it's conversations like the conversations that you and I have had over

the years. It's conversations like that, that made me want to do a podcast because I'm like,

we're having these great conversations. Other people should hear some of this stuff because

it's just so cool. And Carolyn is so full of wisdom. So I'm just so stoked that you're here.

And we're both so focused on authenticity and kind of peeling back the layers. And I know even,

even through our friendship, I know we've both done a lot of work. We're very different people

than we were when we met, you know? So what is your, what is your journey? Obviously it's not

But what is your journey towards authenticity? Like so far, thus far?

The best journey there is ever in this lifetime has been that journey of circling back to who I am.

And a lot of life, I performed a lot of life, I wore a mask, a lot of life, I expected

such high standards of myself, and it was absolutely exhausting. Energetically,

it was taxing my life, spirit, my life force, I made pretty well everybody else more important

than myself in my life. And that would include, you know, my family, my, my kids, of course,

and my business. And I was always, it's kind of like the car, you know, how you clean your house,

and you clean everything, and it looks good and organized, always leave your car.

But other people might, but I don't know.

And then, you know, I would get sick about, you know, once every three months or four months,

because my, my energy bank was so drained. I mean, I remember times where I just make my bed

first thing in the morning, and it would feel exhausting. Yeah. So, you know, my, my mission,

my calling, my purpose, my living legacy, is to, you know, support women to not suffer like I did.

And to not make those decisions that really are not in alignment with what matters most in life

and business, because the cost is too great. So, I feel right now where I am in my life

is that every hardship, everything that was traumatic, difficult, and hard, was there to

teach me, to guide me, and to show me what mattered most. And it's a journey. This doesn't

happen overnight. And once you know that you have circled back to that center ground in who you are,

and given yourself permission to be that woman, I mean, I'm incredibly enthusiastic. I have been

criticized my whole life. Would you just calm it down?

So, would you just settle down? Why just, just quiet down? So, you know, there's certain chapters

in my life where I withdrew. I segmented myself in a way that I felt like I was so alone.

And I got lost at times. And I think that the bravery and the boldness as women, you know,

our responsibility is to bring this love back to the world. And I was looking for love my whole

life. And now I realize it's not an outside job, that I just need to go within to win here. So,

and it's a matter of making that commitment and daily discipline to honor oneself as a woman.

And since I've done that, in the last six years, my entire life has given me more freedom,

given me permission to have this calm confidence, not this high energy, you know,

spiraling energy. It's more grounded. And I trust myself more. I know myself more.

And I think that's our responsibility as a woman, is to know who we are,

sincerely, genuinely, and authentically. And we are magnificent human beings,

every single woman on the planet. It's a bold journey. It's a brave journey.

You know, looking in the mirror, telling yourself the truth, to find that clarity.

Yeah. And it's funny, you know, and I mean, I think all humans struggle with this, this kind of

performative, this need to kind of fit in and be different for other people. And

what I find so funny, and I think you'll agree with this, is that for those of us who are too

much, I've always, I've always been too much. I'm too much everything. But for those of us who are,

being less is exhausting. Because you're constantly, it's funny, because you would

think that being less would would cost less energy. But since I have given myself permission

to be just to let myself free, and take those kind of the reins off a little bit,

and just let myself, if I'm feeling very enthusiastic, to let myself be enthusiastic,

to let myself be fully expressive, and not try and hold myself back, because I'm worried about

protecting other people from my energy or from my, my feelings, or, or, or just, you know,

it's often joy, you know, it's not even like, oh, you're too much. You're so angry. It's often

it's like, your enthusiasm, like, please back off. Come on, it's joy. How is how is joy wrong?

You know, but since I've stopped doing that, I have so much more energy. I have more energy now

that I'm not suppressing myself all the time. Do you feel the same?

Well, hello. You're talking to the converted here. Here's here's the piece for me. I mean,

I'm 67 years young. That's, that's where I'm at in this chapter of lifetime. And I

resource now, a vitality and life force that is coming from a place of joy and happiness.

Because I've made the decision. And that decided piece that I call thinking above the line,

which is being decided. And when we decide to honor oneself, it means change. But also, above

the line means allowing those motions to move through us, allowing that permission to be sad

to cry. Yeah, you release and have compassion for oneself. I mean, yes, I look at my younger self,

I was a machine. No wonder I got sick. The poor here, God bless her. You know, and now

my boundaries are clean. People know who I am, I get to show up just as me and it's so easy.

I don't have to do anything. I don't have to perform. I can be quirky, which I am.

I can get incredibly passionate, like I am right now. Totally.

It's absolutely okay. You know, it's funny. Just, we're not really talking about performance right

now. But it's my background. So we're going to talk about it for a second. I had an acting coach,

an acting teacher, Larry Silverberg. And he would always say, because people always say, you know,

when is it too much? You know, and especially speakers ask me this all the time, you know,

when is it too much? When is it too big? And his answer was always, when it's full,

it's never too big. It's only too big when it's empty. And so when you have enough to, when it's

coming from a real place, when it's grounded, and it's supported, and it's real, it's never too much.

It's when it's ungrounded, it's when it's fake, it's when it's pushed, it's when it's empty,

when you're performing energy or emotion or whatever it is, that's when it's too much.

But when it's real, you expand and contract, you know, with your energy. And so it's never,

you know, people always like, well, how much is too much on stage? It's not about that. It's

is it real? That's what it's about. I agree 1000%. And here's the other piece that I find

absolutely fascinating, that I discovered in the last five or six years, is that when I give myself

permission to just show up, as you and trust the presence of the moment. And listen to my

internal voice of wisdom, which, yeah, always comes from a place of love, and grace within

myself. It's that voice I listen to. And sometimes I pause. Sometimes I wait. And sometimes I just

allow that information to be shared in an organic, natural way. And releasing that performance

is so freeing, because you develop this self trust within yourself, that you got this,

Carolyn, you got this. So, you know, one of the things that you do, I'm going to hook back to

you here for a second. All right, I'm okay with that. You, you supported me in this, in the fact

that I can release my script. I can have my, my, my main points that I want to share. And I do a lot

of talks that in person, and as well as online, I just did. Yeah, you talk a lot today. And I love

talking, because when I was in junior high school, in my annual, I was really mad about this at the

time, but they said that I was a verbal asset of the school in junior high. I was like, you can't say that.

But it's the truth. I mean, I love it. You are a verbal asset. Yeah. Some people might not say,

I mean, as my mother would say, no. Some people might take the set away. No, I'm kidding. I'm

kidding. Exactly. But here's the piece that I want to put across right now. It is that, you know,

wherever you are on this trajectory to understanding your own energy, honoring yourself,

how you're showing up is, you taught me this too, that you can just trust yourself so much.

You know, you know what you're going to say. You can let go of that script completely. And I, I do that.

I mean, I'll have it there on Zoom, kind of as an, as a reminder and anchor. And I'll see if you

might share that, but it's, it's this internal confidence and self-trust that we can speak our

truth. And that's what lands. That's what, that's what actually imprints people is that intentional

energy of showing up and contributing from the highest good that you got to bring. So, you know,

that's, that's what people remember. They, they, you know, after you're gone, they won't remember

what you said, but I love that phrase. I think it was Maya Angelou who said it. They'll always

remember how you support them to feel. And to me, that's my intention to bring love to every,

every present moment to, because when love's there, freeze, fear is dissolved. It's vanished.

So to, to just release that fear, I mean, can we talk about what you made me do?

Yeah, absolutely. For sure. I'm a little bit of a, yeah, I'm a little bit, I'm a little bit sadistic

sometimes when I get homework. I'm so glad you changed my life forever, forever, and changed

many millions of lives around the world too, with, with me sharing this. So, so I was in one of

Danielle's incredible workshops about speaking and, you know, I'm taking notes. I'm learning a

lot. Oh, that's good. That's good. Okay, great. So Danielle suggested to me that I do just

recordings on my phone, do selfie recordings of me speaking. And I said, no, I'm not doing that.

I don't even take selfies of myself. I don't like it. I don't want to do it. No, I'm not doing it.

And then she kept inviting me with love and intention. And she said, Carolyn, just do it.

Do it for two weeks. That's it. I said, okay, I'm not adding anything else to my day.

I'm going to do it in the morning at five 30, when I do my dearest God, one page journal,

and I'm just going to pick up my phone and I'm going to record myself. And then you said, okay,

Carolyn, all you need to do is just don't look at yourself as you're being recorded. Just

look at the little red dot. So that's quite good for 18 days. And I thought, I'm sure it sucks.

I'm sure that's so then I watch it. I watch myself. I watch what I see. I cried and cried

and cried and cried. And I, and I, so I knew in that moment, this was an injustice that I did

not share this with the world. This, this would be wrong on all counts. This is way too good.

And it's really authentic because I haven't brushed my hair. I'm in my pajamas. I'm in my

I love it. I still probably have, you know, or chewing seeds sometimes

and it's raw. So what happened over time? I don't know if I've shared this with you. I don't think

I have what's happened over time. Cause I've been doing it for probably almost a year now,

every single day. Okay. So what's happened over time is I would, after that, I watch it

and I know when I'm speaking from my head, I could feel the impact if it wasn't happening.

And I could feel when I was speaking from my heart. So in spirit of contribution,

so that love inspired leadership that I stand for. So sometimes I'd have to record it three times

in order to get it because I was so caught up in my own head and trying to be perfect

because I'm a recovering perfectionist. Actually, I've actually recovered.

You've recovered by now. You've recovered. You're an ex, an ex perfectionist.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. But the truth is that this is my favorite thing to do every day.

So I get up at, you know, quarter to five, five early and I do journal. I know you're not an

early morning woman. So I do my one page and then I record it. And now every time it's just one,

it's real, it's true. It's powerful. It's, and it just means so much to me. And I just want to

weave in one little thing. So I have a friend who has cancer. He has prostate cancer and he's been

battling for the last, you know, year and a half, two years. So I sent him my recording every day.

I send him my journal every day and it's changed his life. It's changed the trajectory of his

mindset on his belief in life. He calls me his psychologist. I am not. So this audience,

let me tell you, this is just my soul speaking here. And it just, it just touches my heart,

soul, and spirit that I've been able to support him into project because going through cancer is

just how physically, emotionally, mentally, the whole gamut and that I can contribute this little

gift of a recording. He doesn't read the journal, but he listens to the recording every day. And

it's usually three minutes or less. I love, I love this so much. And it's so funny that you

fought it so much and now it's your favorite thing. But what I also love is exactly what you said.

You can tell now when you listen back to yourself, or even when you're speaking, you can tell when

it's coming from somewhere real or when it's coming from somewhere a little bit more performative.

And that's what I do with speakers is I help them on that very physical level. But you,

you kind of do exactly the same thing, but with women in their lives. So tell me a bit about that.

Tell us, tell us a bit about that. And you've got, you're creating the sanctuary now, and it's just

your energy. For those of you who are just listening and aren't watching, I don't know if you

can, I'm sure you can pick it up. Carolyn just has the most beautiful, just kind of calming, creating

this space kind of energy. You are just such a joy to be around because you are so present. So creating

a space for other people to be present. And then we get to, get to maybe spread a little bit of

this presence out into the world. So tell us about this, because this is so exciting that

you're taking your gift and you're, you're amplifying it into life, into all of life.

Well, I am. And so as women, I, I've been in business for 40 years, that's four zero, like

that's a heck of a long time. And I have done keynote speaking, I've done corporate training,

I've done many, many, many retreats. I've done every form you can think of. I've MC'd big events,

thousand people. I've done a lot of things. This one is so meaningful to me. It's called the AIM

High Sanctuary. And, you know, I see the support that women in business have in, in the world

currently. So they can hire business coaches. They can be a part of masterminds. They can

participate in webinars. Well, this is different. This is a space and a container and a place where

you can come and show up with whatever's going on in your life or your business. It is there

as a safe haven for you to come and look at the truth about what matters most in your life and

your business. You get to decide, you get to work through those, those issues and those challenges

and obstacles with other women in the same position of yearning to be a love inspired leader

in your business. And the women that I have attracted to be in this sanctuary are absolutely

extraordinary human beings. And they're ready to aim higher because we, we need the safe haven.

So it's not just about strategy and pushing harder and making things happen. No, it's not.

This is important. And I'll tell you why, because we can be machines. We're human beings,

not human beings. Okay. And it's that place and space for grace that you get to come together

the first Thursday of the month for one hour with this incredible group of women.

Okay. You can enter at any point. This is not a mastermind where you start and stop. No, this is

an entry point that women can come and come inside the sanctuary and trek with us. And the way I've

set it up is that you stay as long as it serves you. You stay as long as you receive value. And

it's, it is, we may never leave. That's the truth. And that's my, that's, that's, that's my

intention. This, this, this is the place that you get to actually show up as you are authentically.

So this authenticity piece to be where I am, to who I organically am as, as my highest self

takes time. It takes support. It takes action and it takes accountability. Those are the three

important landmarks within this community. So we, we set up daily disciplines in some different

frameworks. You work together in accountability, buddy pods with two other people. You meet on

zoom during the second week of the month, the three of you, the third week, you meet with me.

On the fourth week, we come back together again as a circle for 30 minutes. And each month has a

theme. So we build on the themes from month to month to month, and they all progress together

to build this foundation of magnetism. Because what happens over time is we become aligned with

who we are. We make decisions in alignment with what matters most in how we're serving the world

within our business from our highest self. And then we allow our loving light to shine on the

world with radiance. And it creates that love led leadership. And it's absolutely what I've

dreamed of receiving that I never, ever, ever got. That's beautiful. That's so gorgeous. Because

I think creating a space for people to show up where they don't feel like they need to perform,

they don't feel like they need to like perform as in be someone else, but they also don't feel

like they need to perform as in be productive and like hit certain markers or whatever. But we can

just be and as we are allowing ourselves to kind of presence takes vigilance, I find, you know,

it takes a lot of patience and a lot of, you know, kind of making sure that you're not getting

complacent along the way. So as we do that, the layers drop off and life becomes easier and more

authentic, excuse me, life becomes easier and more authentic and more, more kind of distilled,

not that it's not that it's always serious. It can be very fun and very silly. Authenticity can be.

But what I wanted to say was, I think you said something really cool as well. We're evolving

into our higher selves, but that doesn't mean that we are forcing ourselves into that. Because

for me, and I'm curious what you think about this. For me, authenticity is about radical

self-acceptance about where you are. It's not about like, oh, I want to be, yes, of course,

I want to be. We wouldn't be humans if we didn't have a longing, if we didn't have ambitions,

but accepting where we are right now, I think is so important as well. And allowing yourself to

evolve, yes, and pushing yourself, but also not being in denial about where we actually are

as well. You with me on that? About the highest percentage of number that I can,

a bazillion. That's a pretty high number.

So here's the piece that I know, and that I want to invite women to realize, is that

our lives are here to surrender, to accept what is in every form that it is. And this is part of my

above the line thinking. So what is, is. And there's a position of acceptance. That doesn't

mean that you have to agree with it. That doesn't mean that it's a position of acceptance. Because

when we accept what is, is, that's when we can make another decision to change it.

Yes. Yes, you can't change from denial.

Yes. So we deny that that's the truth, I'll tell you. We hide. We tell ourselves that it doesn't

matter when it does. I mean, I was in a marriage for 34 years. And I kept telling myself, well,

I'm comfortable. And there, you know, there's so many parts of it that worked wonderfully.

And there's parts of it that didn't. But I hid those parts from myself for a very,

very long time. So I could stay within that comfort zone when actually I was suffering.

Because it's, it was a position that I needed to make another decision. And I did. And,

you know, two and a half years ago, I live in this incredible space of harmony and grace and

peace, everything right now. Oh, great. But I needed to learn how to honour myself. And it's,

it's accepting what is, but it's also realising that we all have the same amount of courage

to make change. So we think, well, I can't, I can't change that. Well, you know what,

it takes intention. It takes a willingness to be brave and bold in the moment and hold that

vision of exactly what it is that you desire. So it's not about jumping into the future. It's

about staying present where we are right now, having a sense, and then just taking that first

step, just one, one single step, and giving yourself permission to live this life that

matters to you. Yeah, that has meaning, that you're hooked into this purpose. Like I want to

free women from suffering. I mean, that's my bigger purpose in life. Because I've seen too

many women suffer. I saw my mother suffer excruciating emotional pain from schizophrenia.

I mean, I've seen too much of it. No, not on my watch. Not this life. Not within the reach of my

arm. Absolutely not. And living a meaningful, purposeful life doesn't need to be big and flashy.

You know, it doesn't need to, it can be just in the moment. Learning the importance and the

value of small things has changed my life completely. You know, it's not about the flashy

cars or the holidays and whatever. It's just about being where you are and finding

the presence in the moment, finding the peace and the space in the moment,

finding the joy in the moment. No one can take that away from you, no matter how difficult

your circumstances are. Because I'm very aware, I'm speaking from a place of extreme privilege,

and I'm very aware of that. I'm not saying life isn't hard. It is. We are also able to, there's

part of ourselves that we are always in control of. We're not always in control of the outside.

We're not always in control of the circumstances, but there are bits of ourselves that we are always

in control of. And also, not to say that we shouldn't have compassion for when we're suffering

as well. Because that is part, I think if we beat ourselves up for being like, oh,

I'm not as strong as I could be. You accept that you are where you are, and being compassionate

with yourself about it. Yeah. Oh, I love this so much. Oh, I do too. And here's the piece that I

want to weave into that. It's the biggest game changer in my life. The biggest, biggest rock

that changes everything. When that boulder moved aside, self-forgiveness. And self-compassion.

Because it's like, stuff happens in life. Things are hard. There's things that are completely out

of your control. Yeah. And what's the most important thing is to realize that we have the

ability to control only a few things. Not what I think, not what I say, not what I do. So it's what

I take action on. And I had a family situation where it just pulled the rug out from underneath

me. I mean, immediately, I cried and cried. And I knew I had to release that sorrow first.

Passionately, purposely allowed that to happen for about 10 minutes. But here's the thing that

I learned. 10 minutes. You amateur. Here's the thing that I want to bring the audience,

because this is the truth. When I learned this, I thought, well, all right. So here it is.

Our emotions, so many of us resist the urge to cry. Because it's in there. It's got to come out.

So what I learned, and this is the truth through my hypnotherapy training and everything, is that

it's a 90 second loop. So allow myself to purposefully, passionately grieve and have

sadness and let it roll through. So if it decides to roll through again, that's my permission.

So what I've discovered is when I really embrace the sadness, when I really let myself rip in the

crying, we have this illusion that we think it's going to last forever. No, just embrace it,

allow it to move through your body. And then pause. That's what I do. And I think, well,

is there another level in there? Oh, yeah. So I'll let it do another 90 second loop.

What I discovered is that all I need to do is ask myself this. What would love do right here,

right now? Well, it's beautiful. What would love decide in this moment? What was the truth

of what's happening here? Not the surface truth where I'm a victim, and it's hard,

and I want to resent them and blame them. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, stop. No. Yeah. No, absolutely. I agree with you. I also would like to add the caveat

that that is true most of the time. There are times when we have deep depression or grief,

or there are times when it does roll through more than that. And that's okay. Sometimes we do.

Sometimes we have to cry for days. I've had those days. And that's okay. Anyone who's listening,

I don't want you to put the expectation on yourself that you can only cry for 10 minutes.

Please don't put that on yourself. What you're saying is that sometimes we wallow and we get

stuck. And you're 100% right about that. We do sometimes get stuck. And it's important to bring

yourself back to the present and ask yourself, what's going on right now? Not what story am

I stuck in? But what's going on right in this moment? And that's, again, the power of presence,

and the power of making the choice in the moment. And sometimes the choice is I need to honor this.

And that's wonderful. That's a beautiful gift that you can give yourself. Well, it is. But here's the

other piece. I mean, sometimes it's heavy. Yeah. And I've spent, you know, numbers of times in my

life, days to cry. Yeah. That's a lot of release. It is. And it's good for you. And I've just

canceled meetings, honestly. I have. I've cleaned the slate, because I know that this is a large,

large boulder to maneuver through. So I give myself permission to grieve. Good. I feel it.

I mean, that's the other thing. And the last piece is this. The other game changer for me

is I've set up people in my life who I love and who love me. I have two people specifically. And

they know me so well. They know the cellular form and who I am. They know where I get in my own way.

They know where I cop out on myself. They know where I'm stuck. And they know the truth. So I

call them lifelines. So what I do when I'm in that sad place, which I did recently,

I was there for 15 minutes. And I thought, well, I think I need to call in a lifeline right now.

Yep. So I just text that person, 911. They call me back immediately. I speak what I think is the

truth. And then they speak back to me the real truth. And this is the power of speaking it out

loud. Because when we stay in our heads and we don't say anything, we can reinforce that stuff.

But when we say things out loud, we give ourselves the opportunity to measure it and go,

okay, I said that. How does it sound? How does it feel? Is it true? Whereas if it stays stuck in

our head, it's very easy to lie to yourself and to get stuck in things in your head. I love that

you do that. I do that too. And sometimes I do it with other people. Sometimes I just do it with

myself and it works. You say something out loud and you're like, huh, I don't believe that.

Crazy. Or now that I hear it out loud, that's not true at all. And giving ourselves permission,

I think this is a big part of, oh, I'm going to bring this back to speaking for a moment. And

then we're going to talk about your gift, because you've got a beautiful gift for us today.

Bringing this back to speaking for just a moment, because it's my passion.

I work with a lot of speakers who self-edit so much that they can't get into flow in their speech

because there's so much going, oh, I can't say that, or I can't say that, or I can't say that.

And they stop words before they come out. And there is a gift that you can give yourself,

of giving yourself permission to be wrong. What if I say something and I don't believe it?

I can just say something else straight afterwards. It's okay. It's not set in stone now that I've

said it. I can say something and go, wow, I just said that and I realized it's not what I believe,

because I can change. I'm a human being. I'm evolving. I'm changing all the time.

The person that I was a year ago isn't the person that I am now. So the person I was two seconds

ago may not be the person I am now. But it's part of how a lot of us process things. Not everybody,

but a lot of people process things as we speak. And so giving yourself the gift of being able to

say something and being able to correct it or clarify it afterwards. You don't need to do

all the editing in your head before you speak. It's not better. People think, oh, but it's

unprofessional to say something. It's not. It is so much better and it allows you to get into flow

and it allows creative state. You're unlikely to say something you don't believe or something

incorrect most of the time, but you're human. You'll do it occasionally. And that's okay.

And learning to recover from that, I think is one of the biggest gifts we can give ourselves.

But speaking of gifts, oh, what a wonderful segue.

I just had one little piece to that. It is profound wisdom to be shared. And here's the truth.

People remember people who are human. It's the human, it's the humanness that lands. And this

is some of the biggest learnings I've had in the last year of my life is that everybody's suffering.

Let's just be real. And what's your most important intention with your talk,

with your speech, with what you're going to say? That's to support people and guide them and make

a difference and impact their lives and influence them in a positive, meaningful way. When you show

up human, guess what? They're like, wow, look at that person. They're just being real. And that's

what I love about you, Danielle. You can show up anywhere and I know it's you. So we can be actors,

we can be actresses, we can perform, but that is not the information that lands in people's minds,

in their hearts, and in their spirit. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Being perfect,

no. Definitely not being perfect. Even if you pause. This is what I do. I pause sometimes and think,

Carolyn, where are you going with this? So I'll pause. I'll say that inside my head.

Then the idea and the concept or the story will come and just takes it to the next piece. So

it's just giving yourself permission to have this space for grace. Release all judgment,

release all criticism, release every single solitary thought around that. Erase it,

dissolve it, let it vanish, and just show up and let yourself shine.

You could do some of my talks for me. We're so in alignment.

I love this so much. Abso-frickin-lutely. Absolutely. 100%. Give yourself space. Let

yourself walk into that mist of unknowing and you will always find yourself. Always, always, always.

And people will find you too. I mean, that's the other piece. We think that

people expect us to be perfect. They're actually happy when we mess up.

Oh, no one wants perfection.

No.

It's boring.

But they want to be able to relate to you. The humanness of life, the foibles, the mishaps,

sharing your vulnerability with people, and me sharing stories about my mom's schizophrenia,

with me sharing stories about my marriage that I released after 34 years. Those are vulnerable

things. But that's what the audience relates to because they can hear it themselves.

Absolutely. My therapist always says to me, she says, show up in all of your glorious mess.

Yes, that's so fun.

Yes, glorious mess. It's glorious.

So tell us about your gift. We could talk forever, but we can't.

Let me tell the audience about my gift. So this is a gift for you. It's called the

Aim High Vision Audit. And it's looking at the powerful framework of expectations versus results.

So it's a 15-minute gift to you. It is a reset that sets your vision on fire.

And I really truly believe that we have to fuel every moment of our lives. And if you're working

too hard, really, honestly, that means that you're unclear on your vision. It's the truth.

So this is a recording for you. It's a meditation as well. I set you up, understanding a few things

about truth, alignment, and radiance, my Aim High Method for you. And basically, it's

giving you permission that you can show up and you can dream bigger. You can have this incredible

opportunity to see something, to imagine something, to feel it inside your body and hold that space of

that vision to carry you forward. You can make those decisions that are meaningful and matter,

and then take action intentionally towards what your big dreams are.

That sounds amazing. So check out the show notes because that's where it's going to be.

And check out also Carolyn's fabulous podcast, Love Inspired Leadership. It's so cool. And I'm

on there. So visit me and visit her. Carolyn, we're going to have to be back

again and again and again, because I could talk to you for hours. And we do sometimes.

But this has been such a pleasure. Thank you so much for joining me today. I love where our

conversations go. And this is very typical of our conversations. We always go deep,

we always call each other on stuff, we always get into the nitty gritty and into the nuances

of things. Nothing is surface level, nothing is plat. And nothing is kind of ego held either.

I love conversing with you because there's a curiosity and an openness that we get to share,

which is just so gorgeous. So thank you so much for being here today.

Well, thank you. I call it delicious, right? So it's kind of like eating chocolate ganache

dessert. You have that first bite, you think, oh, good. Okay, I can hardly wait. I want another

bite. And then another one. So that's what this is like when we talk together. But yeah, well,

honestly, you know, I wish you extraordinary success with this podcast. And for all the

people out there that are thinking of being a speaker, and have that fear running through your

veins that you couldn't do it, I guarantee you, talk to Danielle, talk to Danielle about what's

possible. Because everybody has a voice. And everybody has a message. And when you have a

message that is meaningful, and matters, that's when you have to release the fear and release

the perfectionism and the performance to just show up and shine to share that message. Because

the world needs us now more than ever, ever, ever before. And so true. It is. And so make sure you

connect with Danielle to do that. Because I did and look where I am with my everything. So it is

about speaking, but it's about coming from that place of calm, confidence, and self trust, and

belief in oneself. At the end of the day, all of this being human stuff is connected.

Speaking, being moving through the world, being your authentic self. It's kind of all the same

thing, just in different areas from different angles. But it's all it's, it's all connected.

And how you show up somewhere is how you show up everywhere. And, and the more we can,

the more we can embrace that, and lean into it, relax into it, even, I think the better our and

more beautiful and free our lives will be. So join Carolyn in her amazing AIM High Sanctuary to

release all of those extra garbage, extra energy sucking things that you're doing, and come home

to yourself with her. She creates such a beautiful space. Thank you, Carolyn.

And I'll see you next time. Thank you. Take good care.

Thanks for listening to the Inspired Speaker podcast. If today's episode sparked something

in you, I invite you to take one small courageous step, practice, speak, share.

If you'd like support turning that spark into a full on speaking mastery blaze,

then come join me at theinspiredspeakeracademy.com. Remember, your voice matters. The world needs to

hear it. Because competent speakers change the world one story, one stage, one moment at a time.

Until next time, keep shining your light and keep speaking your truth.