What You Carry - and Who You Choose to Be: Introducing Expect and See™

Welcome to Evolving With Elle, where a capable woman recognizes what she's managing,

understands the responsibilities that she's carrying, and chooses self-honoring over

self-abandonment, and decides to continue, change, or release. I am Elle. I bring the mirror,

the map, and the method. You choose how you show up in a way that honors your capacity.

So let's lean in, learn, and evolve together. You are back to Evolving With Elle,

capable women carrying too much. Yes, we are all capable women.

And as I shared with you in episode one about being on autopilot, second-guessing myself,

and choosing what role, how to harmonize the different roles that I have,

what did that lead me to? I am so glad you asked. So what it led me to was understanding that

every relationship, every relationship, relationship with my boss, my children,

the co-parent, myself, was all important. Because by me recognizing that I am an open,

powerful, free woman, I got to, I get to walk in that. That's where I get to create results from.

And I value connection, compassion, and love. So that is why I created this space

to connect with you, to offer you compassion that others may not give you. And sometimes,

let's be honest, we may not even give it to ourselves. And love, everyone has a different

definition of that. And what I want to be able to say is, universally, we are to treat people

the way we want to be treated. And on this evolution journey that we're on together,

you get to remember how you want to be treated and treat people the same way.

So what have I been building? I have built a better relationship with my children.

They gave me feedback. And you know what I did? I took their feedback, and I met them where they

are. And they have said to me, Mommy, you are going to sleep with a smile on your face.

And I'm like, yes, sweethearts, I am. Because I'm being fully me. My sense of humor. I'm joking with

you guys. We are able to talk. They bring to me things that I don't even have to ask them about

anymore. They just connect. And in my professional career, because yep, I still have that nine to

five job, I am understanding and walking in how to harmonize my full-time job, stay focused on that,

be a mother, be this entrepreneur. All the things. And then that other relationship that I know a lot

of us, if you are divorced, separated, that co-parenting situation, even if you're married,

you are also co-parenting, by the way. So in that co-parenting relationship,

I am recognizing what's mine and what's theirs. And I'm not trying to control them,

nor am I allowing them to control me, because I'm standing in my power. And on this evolution

journey, everyone, you have that same opportunity to do the same thing. And I want to really say this.

You may look at me and say, oh, she's got it all figured out. She's got smooth sailing. She doesn't

understand what I'm going through. I hear you when you say that. And I recognize that in this

day and age, you are seeing me with a smile on my face and letting me tell you that my daughters

see me going to sleep with a smile on my face, right? Honestly, this is evolving with L,

meaning it is still present and ongoing. Okay? So with that present and ongoing evolution,

please know that there are still situations that are painful for me. I am by no means perfect.

We are really and truly in this together. And so I really appreciate you for that.

And as I am building and evolving and transforming myself, yep, said those,

what do you call that? Repeated myself. Synonymous terms. You'll hear me do that a lot. Okay. So my

framework is called expect and see expectancy, right? What happens when you are in expectancy?

It means that you have something that you expect to occur

and you wait and see what actually, and in the waiting to see what actually happens,

it's not this twiddle your thumbs, tap your foot. No, you are actually operating from who you are,

from your values and making decisions. You are choosing what you need to do.

So the expect and see framework has a mirror, a map, and a method.

So as we begin, we get to reflect. That's what the mirror is for. We reflect individually.

And as I shared with you guys earlier, we allow people to read our labels. So just imagine

that you had a bottle, right? It has a label. Does the water know what this label says?

No, it doesn't. So someone has to read your label to you because in this time where you are

overwhelmed and you're just trying to balance everything and you're second guessing yourself,

you may have self-abandoned because you think that that's what you're supposed to do in

particular roles, whether it's at work or as a mother. And someone gets to tell you, hey,

Danielle, Susan, Elle, this is how I see you. And you get to reflect on their label reading

and say, do I agree or do I disagree? You don't have to take the feedback. You always have a

choice here. That's the one thing that I value highly is our ability to choose as human beings.

And for so long, we may have forgotten that we actually have the power to choose.

And that is huge in this expectancy framework. So as you look in the mirror and reflect and as

other people read your label, you get to say, I like it, don't like it. Maybe you need to table

it, come back to it later. All of those are important. And then the map, the map, of course,

has so many different directions that you can go in. And as I share my journey, whether it is through

grief, parenting, having a full-time job, choosing to also become an entrepreneur,

working in different relationships, I'm going to share with you guys my journey, the path I chose.

And then you get to, like, oh, I hadn't thought of that. Let me see how I can

take what Elle has shared and make it work for me. Again, it's your choice.

And then the method. It's a method, ladies. It's the manner in which you can continue to choose

and be and evolve. And as with any method, there's always more than one way. And you get to choose

that. You get to choose the manner that works for you. That's important. And you are on your

journey. You are honoring yourself, your capacity, through every step you take on this journey.

Again, you're not alone on this journey of transformation, of taking huge leaps and strides

that you may not have ever thought possible. And you can also take micro steps.

Everything doesn't have to be big because in stepping into a new place, a new way of thinking,

stepping out of the familiar and into the unfamiliar, you may have to take

micro steps, not baby steps, micro steps. And in this community of capable women

who have been carrying too much, we get to support you. You choose how to evolve.

And you are not doing it alone. So just as I had to do, trust the process,

be uncomfortable, excuse me, be comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Step into the unknown. Did you listen to that song from Frozen? Into the unknown is where we're

going. That's where we're going to create. That's where we get to have a structure that we

get to flow within and harmonize from who we are deep inside the core of our humanness. That's

where we are evolving from. And you get to create results from that place. Keep listening to your

homework.